Being a mom is really the best thing in the world and it’s also the most overwhelming thing in the world. You have people giving you advice about things you didn’t ask for, and a baby who is fussy after they’ve eaten, pooped and just slept, and you’re trying to balance it all while trying to maintain your cool. The first few months felt like a tornado came through our house literally (keeping up with chores was impossible) and figuratively (our daily routine was changed and juggling being a wife and mother seemed impossible). I look back on it now and it seems like those months didn’t last as long as I thought they did and I wished I gave myself more grace. I know I’m not the only mom who has felt this way, which is why I wanted to share what 5 things I think is important to remind yourself when you become a first-time mom. I wish I had these reminders back then, but now I’ll just be more prepared for our next baby 🙂
- You are doing enough- Your baby will still love you when they cry or if you accidentally put their diaper on backwards-trust me 😉 If you’re a working mama or stay at-home mama, all you do for them on a daily basis is enough. Don’t be so hard on yourself about things you cannot control and instead remind yourself that you are doing what you believe to be the best for your child and that is ENOUGH. Even when the laundry is piled high and you haven’t showered in days, and your baby won’t stop crying, you being there for them is all they need 🙂
- We are all just winging it– That Pinterest blogger mom you follow on Instagram has definitely felt moments of failure as a new mom and that’s normal. Every baby is different and what works for one baby, may not work for yours and God gave you a maternal instinct to know what to do for your child. In the moment, you have probably felt panic and had no clue what to do, but you know your baby better than anyone else, and trying different things to calm them down or to occupy them while you attempt to get ready is all you! You are not alone in making mistakes and I assure you we ALL have had moments where we felt overwhelmed.
- It’s so important to take care of yourself- When Oakley was born I would eat M&Ms for breakfast and wouldn’t have a real meal until lunch and when I say “real meal” I’m talking a highly processed frozen meal that you heat up in 3 minutes. I know it’s easy to pop in the microwave, but I was breastfeeding and my hormones were still trying to level out somewhat and eating like crap did a number on me. I know a few moms that developed an auto-immune disease after they had their baby, and didn’t know they had food sensitivities; me included. I wish I ate better quality foods not only then, but before I got pregnant so I was set up for success. I also didn’t work out due to my health issues, so I was just lacking in the health and fitness aspect of life. Taking care of yourself goes way beyond basic upkeep on your appearance, and since I’ve become a mom, I’ve been more aware of the foods I eat because I want Oakley to know how important it is to eat quality foods. Taking care of yourself also includes surrounding yourself with supportive friends and family. You need people you can talk to about how you’re feeling and who can understand what you’re going through. Being a parent is hard and emotionally straining at times and having an outlet to talk about it with people you love helps tremendously.
- Asking for help is OKAY- I’m so bad at realizing I need to ask for help from other people besides Tanner. I think I can just do it on my own because I have to (we don’t have any family that lives close by) and I forget that I can and should ask my friends that live here for help. Most of my friends here have kids of their own, so it’s nice to have their support, but I also forget I can reach out to them for help when I need it. If you have family close by, ask them to come over for a couple hours so you can take a nap, run some errands or even get a shower. Having someone there to help you out makes all the difference and makes me feel like I can breathe again if I get overwhelmed.
- Your pre-baby life will still be there- There is no rush to “get your body back” after baby and that also goes for getting back your pre-baby life. Why would you? The newborn phase is so short and already stressful, so why would you want to add more stress on yourself? Just enjoy all the little moments and when you’re ready, go have a date night or girls night or get a pedicure! Whatever you enjoyed before your baby was born, you should do only when you’re ready.